How (and When) Not to Paint a Storefront

"Is it sleeting?"

The above is a question you never want to hear while holding a paint roller in your hand standing on the top rung of a ladder. Nevertheless, that's where I stood on a decidedly un-balmy Sunday afternoon as my latest good-friend-turned-free-labor Mike grinned at me from his ladder five feet away. His expression affirmatively answered the question without my having to give it a thought. As God slowly turned his magic knob that turns sleet into majestic snowflakes (the first of the year, incidentally), it quickly dawned on me that today we would have the kind of fun that isn't really fun until you're sitting in a warm bar with a beer afterwards laughing about what you've just endured.


As you may have already surmised, I dared to paint my storefront in November. Late November. In the face of a Northern crosswind. In rain. In sleet. In snow. Sometimes all three at once. Thanks to Mike sharing my perverse predilection for self-abuse and fighting for a lost cause, I did not paint alone. Thus, the empty streets of Uptown were privy to a spectacle involving two hobos - third stooge Jeff joined us on Saturday in much better weather - on ladders swallowing snowflakes and spilling paint all over themselves, all the while precariously balancing slippery feet on wet ladder rungs (See quick video of me in action below).



I'm astounded to report that the weekend was not a total washout; in fact, we actually managed to cover the whole facade in a solid coat of Pittsburgh Paint's Manor Hall water-based outdoor paint, in a shade called grey stone. Remarkably, in some places, we even managed to apply a second coat. How this paint managed to maintain a liquid state for consistent application and subsequently adhere to the building defies science. My infrared thermometer confirmed that the Weather Channel promise of a 49-degree high never materialized; 35 was my warmest reading for the day. It probably helped that we managed to keep the paint at a toasty 42 degrees by keeping it inside the store until the last possible moment.

So, at the moment I am looking at finishing the paint job this week. The best laid plan is to overcome the mild cold I came down with from today's adventures, and then try to catch a break in the weather Tuesday to finish the second coat of grey stone. After that, I have two columns and a long baseboard to paint a delightful color known as "Black Magic". The forecast is not especially promising, so I'll have to make more of my infamous tough choices.

Of course, all the other balls are going to keep bouncing while I continue playing with paint. I meet with Mr. Pepsi in the morning and - weather permitting - will take my postponed trip to Lincoln to buy more random stuff for the store. Stay tuned.